Tonight Bear is going to a school dance and mom and I have a night of nothingness

I’m not really sure what we’re going to be doing but I hope we do something so that I don’t have to sit around and think. We all know that’s not healthy at all. Anyway, I hope you all are having a good weekend so far. I’m feeling read here pretty down so if anybody has any words of advice, I would greatly appreciate it. Thanks guys.

If only, if only.

Today has been a good. good day! School went well and I actually had a few good le home I cleaned up and went to my dietician appointment. While I was waiting to talk with her, there was a women in the lobby that I spoke to. Her 18 year old daughter has pre eating disordered thoughts and she thinks that she’s fat. Despite the girl’s thoughts-like many people with ED-she was not at all fat. Her mother caught on to her restrictive behaviors and decided that she should take her to see a dietician. Thankfully, they caught it early enough that they just may be able to avoid ED full on. The point of me telling you all this is that as I was talking to this woman, I was trying to be insighful so that I could help her be as supportive to her daughter as possible. I’m sure we all know how lost parents feel and how they get mad as a result of not knowing how to help their kids. It felt really good for me to know that one thing that I said could stick and end up helping this family get through this together. The feeling was irreplacable.

After my dietician appointment I went around attempting to find a job. I filled out a few applications but who knows with the way todays economy is…Then I had therapy. On the way there I decided that I would enjoy the warm weather so I rolled down the windows and made a phone call to my favorite boy. We had another amazing, day changing conversation! He always puts me in the best mood. Despite the fact that I was supposed to go to the Taylor Swift concert tonight, I’m still managing a smile. The friend that I was supposed to go with is going to record songs for me and send them to me. She’s such a sweetheart. ?

Love you Sammm

Therapy went well too! Although, it was pretty awkward because when I walked in there was a girl from school there. My therapist and I talked about how your life really begins after high school. I really hope that this is true because I don’t think that I have truly lived yet and I want to more than anything.

So as we speak my Mom and brother are getting into a huge fight. Bear is really scaring me because he keeps telling me that he’s going to runaway because Mom makes his life horrible. He also keeps saying that his life is terrible becuase he used to get beat up everyday by his Dad-my step Dad. I know how he feels, I mean I went through it too but I can’t imagine how it’s influencing his life right now. If I’m struggling this bad with the abuse, how in the world is he handling it? I worry about things like that every single day of my life. I just wish that life wasn’t always like Alice in Wonderland, sometimes I wish things just made sense.

Well darlings, I’m off to watch my favorite wizards make some magic happen. If only we were all wizards and could all make whatever we want come to life. If only, if only…